the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
