Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
