i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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