There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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