yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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