Sponge bath it is.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
