your thong is hanging out like whoa
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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