oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
