Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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