What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
