Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
