anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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