You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
