We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
