It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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