my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
