he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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