Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
