I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
