so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize