Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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