She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
