You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
handjob tips. give me some.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Come on in and take your pants off
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