Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
