Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
