ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
