I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
