craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
