Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
