I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
