No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
