he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize