How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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