Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize