Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
