Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
