so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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