If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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