I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
