i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
