She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
