dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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