I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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