May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
