i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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