Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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