Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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