All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm both gender and math confused
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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