How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
