God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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