dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
