Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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