Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
