Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize