but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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