You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
