I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
