We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We just shotgunned beers for America
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
